


Happier

by Arasei



Series: Monsters [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 17:30:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20411599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arasei/pseuds/Arasei
Summary: Kagura's first thought upon waking up in an empty futon is that Sougo must already be in the kitchen making pancakes for their son - but that isn't right.Sougo doesn't make pancakes anymore.And they don't have a son.—The aftermath ofWe Lie With The Monsters Beneath Our Beds





	Happier

**Author's Note:**

> Title is inspired by Happier, by Marshmello ft. Bastille

_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_

_I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier_   
  


* * *

  


Kagura's first thought upon waking up in an empty futon is that Sougo must already be in the kitchen making pancakes for their son — but that isn't right.

Sougo doesn't make pancakes anymore.

And they don't have a son.

She turns over in the soft bedding, burying her face into Sougo's pillow. It smells like the hyacinth shampoo they both use, the one they buy from the supermarket two streets over because it's always the first brand they see down the hygienics aisle. That and because it's dirt cheap — the seventy-year-old shop owner almost always gives them a discount because of how often he has to stop himself from asking how Souichirou is doing.

Kagura pulls the blanket over her head. It's dumb, really. She wants to cry about it, get mad over the easiness of forgetting, but the truth is she can't blame him. When she and Sougo are arguing over which flavor of ice cream they should buy for that week as they poke each other's faces, she forgets too.

She both hates and loves that store.

"Where are you?" she mumbles, pressing the words into the fabric. Maybe he'd left again, like he had that time when everything felt like it would never be okay. Maybe he'd gotten tired of not having a son to make pancakes for anymore. Maybe he only had hate left for the store two streets down.

But almost as if Kagura had yelled the words and not whispered them, she hears the front door dutifully slide open with a click.

Her chest heaves with the relief of suddenly being able to breathe. She hadn't noticed she had ever stopped, but the difference between silently choking and inhaling precious air is even more pronounced in the scent of flowers that fills her lungs with every footstep taken to their room.

"Finally," she hears Sougo say from the doorway. "I thought you'd never wake up."

She peers over the blanket and sees a crown of dandelions adorning his head. Sadaharu, panting happily beside him, is wearing a similar ring of yellow.

"You look dumb," Kagura says.

"Join us," her husband invites, tossing a plastic bag onto her blanketed hip. "But you're making your own. Sadaharu and I worked hard for our crowns."

He walks over to the shoji door leading to their backyard porch and drags it open, letting the inugami bound outside. Early morning sunshine slides into the room, warming a yellow square across the lower half of the futon. Kagura sits up to avoid it, dragging Sougo's bag into her lap.

He sits cross-legged beside her and watches as she opens it to reveal a mass collection of picked dandelion flowers, peeling and fragile and beautiful.

Souichirou used to love them.

Her eyes sting. "I thought you left," she whispers, staring hard at the yellow petals. Half in the sun, they glow like melted gold.

Sougo's hand reaches up to cup her cheek and she leans into it, allowing his thumb to trail over the bud of her mouth to tip up her chin. She watches his expression closely as he wipes away the tears along her bottom lashes. His gaze is unwavering. 

"I'm here," he says.

He kisses her slowly, thoroughly, willing away the insistent press of tears that burns at the back of her eyes. Kagura sighs into his mouth and loses herself in the feeling of his shirt beneath her fingers, the coolness of his hands cradling her face, the sticky scent of dandelions in his hair, and almost like a switch has been flipped she feels _alive._

"Your flower crown is stupid," she murmurs. He takes her bottom lip between his teeth and smiles, claiming another long kiss. Only until the sunlight is well and truly collecting in their laps do they part.

Pulling away, her husband replies, "Yellow goes with my hair," and opens the bag between them. "Unlike yours."

Kagura makes a dispassionate noise. "They look amazing on me, yes? Fit for the Queen of Kabukicho."

Sougo empties out a few of the flowers onto his knee. "Queen of trash, maybe," he says, pinching her cheek. She swats away his hand with a half-hearted frown, but she can’t quite stop her hesitant smile.

He takes two of the flowers together and tickles them below her nose. "You remember how to do this?"

She snatches them out of his hand. "Maybe."

Sougo rolls his eyes. "Like this," he says, and she looks up to watch as he demonstrates how to twist the flowers together, working slowly so as to not confuse her but unaware that his consideration is in vain. Though Kagura had never mastered the art, she easily remembers Sougo's painstaking lessons with Souichirou, recalls each step with perfect clarity. He teaches her with the same exasperated fondness he'd taught their son, a half-laugh lilting his words and softening the furrow of his brow. She doesn't need the lesson, but in the warm, pretty light, with Sougo’s fair eyelashes casting long shadows across his cheek, it feels like how it did back then — and in this moment, it feels like Kagura can say his name out loud.

"Souichirou sucked at these."

She doesn't look up from the stems that she is twisting over one another, but from the corner of her eye, she sees Sougo still.

"He did," he says, and she glances up at him, surprised at the warmth in his voice. Their eyes meet in the sunshine and he offers her a sad smile. She reaches over to squeeze his hand and he squeezes back with a sigh, looking over to check on her progress. "And so do you. You've barely started your chain."

"But it's already a very good one, yes?"

He holds up his perfectly even dandelion chain, almost halfway completed. "Mine's better."

She scoffs, returning to her own. A moment later, Sougo asks, "You want to combine them?"

Kagura considers the length of her chain and his. "Sure. This one will be for Souichi."

Her husband snorts, waiting for Kagura to finish her half. "You're just lazy," he says. Outside, Sadaharu barks at the discovery of a bird nest. Sougo watches the Inugami's delight with detached interest. 

"Ah," he voices suddenly. "I forgot. We need to stop by the supermarket again on the way back from the grave. We used up the last bottle of shampoo washing Sadaharu last week."

Kagura makes a vague noise of affirmation, causing Sougo to look over at her curiously. "Why are you making that face?" He asks with suspicion.

"Nothing," Kagura deflects, turning away to hide her smile. So that he won't press the issue further, she adds, "I want chocolate ice-cream this week."

Sougo groans. "Again? We had that last week—"

"It's Sadaharu's favourite!"

"That's bullshit, you know he loves strawberry—"

They argue for as long as it takes to combine their two dandelion chains, the resulting crown being a mess of flowers and stems that Kagura thinks would make Souichi proud. It’s small and delicate and exactly how their son would’ve made it, and when they go to his grave and place the flowers over his stone, she realises she will always miss him — they both will. But in this moment of okay, when their underlying sadness is just a memory woven into a crown, she understands that it’s not forgetting, it's remembering.

And it feels like healing.

**Author's Note:**

> This one is dedicated to my girl Mel because I still haven't finished her commission (I'm sorry bb ily I'll do it soon agsjdbskns) 
> 
> Speaking of commissions though, I do them now! Art commissions that is. Holidays are finally here so not only will I hopefully write a bunch of stuff, but I also have time to draw!! If you want to commission me, check out my Instagram @araseiidraws :D
> 
> Anyway, about the fic - I've always wanted to make a companion piece to the Monsters fic told from Kagura's point of view, but when I got down to actually writing it, the end result was pretty short and much more bittersweet than I had intended. I was aiming for MORE angst and hurt but couldn't do it so... Just this once you guys have been spared (although lbr, it's more because I'm weak and needed them to be happy D:). Tell me what you guys thought of it anyway, though. 
> 
> Love ya'll and thanks for reading <3
> 
> \- Arasei


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